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Showing posts from January, 2021

This past weekend

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This past week found me doing a deep clean in our home.  Although the house did need it, that was not the driving factor.  While in Colorado this last September, we made a new friend who has become very dear to us and she decided to drive down from South Carolina to see us this weekend.  And I have found that the best insensitive to clean the house is for friends who you are very excited to see;)  Friday found me, Natalie and Adam in the springs, fishing and canoeing with our energetic puppy!  That was our first time with 3 people in the canoe, a puppy and all the fishing gear trying to row up stream in a very strong current. But we had a blast and made some good memories for sure!  Natalie discovered that when you can see the fish that you are trying to catch, it makes fishing more fun and engaging.  After we had been rowing and fishing for some time, we decided a swim would be a good way to end our trip even though the high was only 75° and the water was 72°.  We didn’t get that many

A choice I make

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I’m as guilty of it as the next person.  It’s not uncommon that I struggle to have a good attitude toward something.  Maybe it’s someone else’s bad day.  Maybe it’s my husbands irritation with the people he had to deal with that day.  Maybe I’m having a bad day myself.  Whatever it is... the fact that the thoughts that turn into a bad attitude come into my head is not the problem. It’s what I do with those thoughts.  They can simply stay thoughts, or become an entire attitude.  When I put truth up next to those ill thoughts, it’s easier to conquer them.  It’s never self-centered thoughts or make-belief happy thoughts.  It’s always a choice between self and the truth.  May I always strive to live in truth’s reality and not self pity. (It really goes a long ways when someone else is having a rough day.)  Note: It never goes well when I chose the path of self____ (you fill in the blank;)

It’s not just a personality issue...

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I’ve been told, “But you’re different...”  I’ve been told, “well your personality, (or your enneagram) means you deal with things in that way...”  The truth is, that’s not what has taken me this far.  Of course there is always someone who had it harder, but my teen years were not easy. Not because I wanted to rebel (like so many people think is “normal” for teenagers) but because of things going on within my family and out of my control.  As a result, I entered my adult years with a lot of hurts. Many I didn’t even realize at the time.  I had a choice to make, and honestly choices to make all during my teen years when I was dealing with the issues that caused the hurts.  I could build up walls, and allow bitterness to grow thick and deep, and develop a victim mindset, or I could take my hurts to the Lord, forgive and realize that He is all I need... in life. In pain. In hardships. In growth.  I am currently working on my 25th journal. The first one dates back to 2011. These journals ar

It doesn’t always have to be a life sentence...

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Dear Friend,  You can beat it. It doesn’t have to be a forever sentence. It may feel like it’s taking forever, but don’t give up.  I was feeling discouraged but today I got a surprise...  At the beginning of the year I found out that I have PCOS. It felt like a life sentence, until I learned that despite what SO many say, I don’t have to deal with it for life. So I started researching, reading, learning and doing everything I could to change the damage being done in my body.  I cut out sugar. I cut out gluten. I went through extra work to make food my body really needed: I spent more money on quality supplements. I started working with a health coach and a homeopath doctor.  Today, I had to weigh a huge package I’m shipping, so I weighed myself first, and then myself and the package... naturally. I was very surprised...  For the past year or two, I have stopped weighing myself regularly. (Only once every few months) and honestly didn’t think about my weight much. I ate well and exercis

Something I never want to have a part in...

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It breaks my heart.  It doesn’t make me say “yeah, me too.”  It doesn’t make my sympathize.   “I love my husband but he annoys me.”  Or “no one wants to hear about that stuff... it’s all you ever talk about.”  Or when I see an Instagram reel about how we wives have to pick up after our husbands all the time.  Those things break my heart.  Now let me say, I am not exempt from struggling with these thoughts... certainly not.  But to say “I love my husband” and then let these types of things come out of my mouth for others to hear, is not loving of me.  Is Adam perfect? Most definitely not. But am I perfect? No! And I would be embarrassed and probably ashamed if Adam were to talk about the things I don’t do well to others... or make a reel about everything he does that he feels he shouldn’t have to do.  I’m not saying that having fun with stereo types is wrong, but we as wives should not be having “a little fun” at the expense of our husbands.  I’ve heard it said that “criticism never mad

A common question with an uncommon answer

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The most common question I get when people find out that we are a blue line family is, “are you nervous all the time?” Or “do you have a lot of anxiety?”  And this is what I tell them... Being in law enforcement is very dangerous. There is plenty of room to be nervous or scared and worried. But the truth is that in Matthew 6 Jesus tells me that I can not change anything by worrying.  Prayer is my better resource.  So no, I don’t deal with anxiety or worry... because I choose to believe what I know is true. Nothing will happen to Adam beyond what God allows. And whatever God allows is for my good.  With that said, this was something I had to learn and I’ve cried many tears over the hate toward our blue family and over the fear I used to have toward what someone might do to my husband. It is very sad when I hear of people or hear people in person, say and do things to hurt my brothers and sisters in blue. It also makes me very happy to see people go out of their way to support our blue f

This is who it’s always been about...

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I have been rather quiet here, but not because I have nothing to share. Rather- the biggest reason being that I have so much I want to share that it’s been hard to know what to share. But also because moving is not a joke;)  . Today I want to share something that God has shown me, and I can not tell you how much it has changed the way I think.  . Simply put- everything is about Jesus. Jesus is all we need to focus on. When teaching or talking about Christianity, we often get so wrapped up in the things that point us *to* Jesus that we forget to teach Jesus Himself!  . Acts 8:35  “Then Philip opened his mouth, and beginning from this Scripture he preached Jesus to him.”  . Acts 5:42 ‭‭ “And daily in the temple, and in every house, they ceased not to teach and preach Jesus Christ.” . I never really noticed what that is saying... until recently.  Sometimes we (me included) get caught up in “I’m baptist” or “I’m Pentecostal” or “I’m” whatever...  the point is Jesus.  . I’m going to share w

Certainly not traditional

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Wait... I thought the guy gets down on one knee *before* you get married.... not 3 years later?.... . You’re right! That’s how it normally works. But our love story didn’t go as most do... not in any way, really.  . We got engaged over FaceTime and I waited 5 months for my ring😄 But I didn’t mind.  . Sadly, my wedding and engagement ring were stolen in spring 2019. It was a family heirloom as well which made even more sad.  . But Adam gave me this beautiful ring for me birthday (not til the 27th but it was an early gift) and since he never got down on one knee, he did that too;)  . Although I loved my first wedding and engagement ring, that’s not what makes or breaks a marriage. I love Adam so much more than I did the day he gave me that ring. And I’m glad God gave us each other.  . A sapphire is the birthstone of September, which means it’s my birth stone. I think sapphires are so beautiful:) And this ring is a picture of our relationship together... beautiful:)  . The Lord has been

I couldn’t have guessed it would be me...

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I never thought it would be me struggling with this.  I knew of just a couple women growing up who it affected but not many.  I never thought *this* dream would be “stalled”. . Infertility.  . I don’t really know what it makes you think of when you hear that word, but I hope it’s not something that makes you uncomfortable. . People have asked us many times over the last 3 years that we’ve been married about children. It is a natural part of life and if you know how much I dearly love children, it’s reasonable to ask;)  . Up to this point, I’ve not really told many people that this is something I struggle with...  But God has shown me that this isn’t something to hide, although it does make me very sad. The only reason God allows things in my life is to strengthen me and bring Him glory.  . I know... I asked the same question at first... “how would He get glory from this??” The only thing I really know is that He has used it to help me realize that He is more important than the children