I couldn’t have guessed it would be me...

I never thought it would be me struggling with this. 
I knew of just a couple women growing up who it affected but not many. 
I never thought *this* dream would be “stalled”.
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Infertility. 
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I don’t really know what it makes you think of when you hear that word, but I hope it’s not something that makes you uncomfortable.
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People have asked us many times over the last 3 years that we’ve been married about children. It is a natural part of life and if you know how much I dearly love children, it’s reasonable to ask;) 
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Up to this point, I’ve not really told many people that this is something I struggle with... 
But God has shown me that this isn’t something to hide, although it does make me very sad. The only reason God allows things in my life is to strengthen me and bring Him glory. 
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I know... I asked the same question at first... “how would He get glory from this??”
The only thing I really know is that He has used it to help me realize that He is more important than the children I dreamed of having one day. And He is the only one that can bring me joy in any circumstance. And He is worth knowing more than anything else in this world. 
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Don’t get me wrong, it’s really hard to watch friends and family fall pregnant and have children, while knowing you can not. (But I also LOVE being apart of my friends motherhood journeys!) And though my heart aches, I know that this is best for me because otherwise Jesus would not have given it to me. 
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And to any other woman that longs to be a mama, but as of right now, can not be... remember this- if we let this draw us closer to Jesus, it is a blessing. 
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Infertility was brought about in my life due to things I dealt with in my younger days... and it is a temptation to be angry because of this. 
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But God.... He doesn’t allow pain because He likes to see us suffer. He taught me a lot through those hard days. Little did I know that those hard times were causing more hard times in the future... but once again, He is bringing me closer to Himself... and *that* my friend, is why I can call Him, Redeemer of the rain. 



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