It’s not just a personality issue...

I’ve been told, “But you’re different...” 

I’ve been told, “well your personality, (or your enneagram) means you deal with things in that way...” 

The truth is, that’s not what has taken me this far. 

Of course there is always someone who had it harder, but my teen years were not easy. Not because I wanted to rebel (like so many people think is “normal” for teenagers) but because of things going on within my family and out of my control. 

As a result, I entered my adult years with a lot of hurts. Many I didn’t even realize at the time. 

I had a choice to make, and honestly choices to make all during my teen years when I was dealing with the issues that caused the hurts. 

I could build up walls, and allow bitterness to grow thick and deep, and develop a victim mindset, or I could take my hurts to the Lord, forgive and realize that He is all I need... in life. In pain. In hardships. In growth. 

I am currently working on my 25th journal. The first one dates back to 2011. These journals are filled with my thoughts and prayers about my personal life. I read through them and although they are no where near filled with angel like thoughts 😂 I see God slowly working on me and changing me. I see my thoughts aligning more closely with His. And I see my younger self learning to throw everything I cared about, on Jesus. 

And because of that, by the time I got married and moved out, I had a firm relationship with the Lord. I had the conviction of the Holy Spirit when dealing with the hard family issues. 

Today? I’m not bitter. I’m not a walking bag of hurt. Do things still hurt sometimes? My goodness, yes. But I know how to properly deal with the hurt and sadness that sin brings into the world. 

I’ve seen so many young people who have been hurt by family, or the church, ditch their faith. Or decide that they will take Jesus *only* on *their* terms. I’ve seen so many relationships destroyed because God is no where near the center of their relationships/life.

The awesome thing is that even if the other person doesn’t do what right, you can still choose it for yourself. This doesn’t mean no pain, but it gives us hope IN JESUS for the future.


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